I finally made it to Wreck Beach.

For those of you that don’t know, Wreck Beach is Vancouver’s only nudist beach (well, clothing-optional beach, as stated on the website). I have lived in the lower mainland my entire life and had never been, I think I was really worried I would feel pressured to get naked if I went and would be scoffed at if I didn’t conform to the nudist way of life. However, this was not the case.

It’s definitely not an easy area to get to, unless you live by UBC, enjoy public transit, or wearing a helmet and riding your bike in those fancy new bike lanes. For a diva like me, the only way to get there is by car, or I would consider a rickshaw if I could find someone who could run fast fast enough to take me. Street parking is usually impossible on a sunny day, but there are a few pay parking lots close by where you can leave your car (make sure there’s nothing valuable in it cuz there’s no way you’ll A. hear your car alarm, or B. be able to make it up all those stairs in time to catch the bastard who broke in).

The beach is beautiful and very much worth the trip (its called Wrecked Beach for a reason if you know what I’m sayin’ *wink wink nudge nudge*). There are no rocks on the beach to scratch your feet as you sashay into the water, but the sand is hot as fuck, so you may want to keep your shoes on until you set up camp, otherwise you’ll be dancing the hot potato while you try and find your friends. Yes, there are a lot of old hippy nudists who sell tie-dyed blankets and whatnot and believe in keeping the nude beach nude, but none of them will really bother you or force their opinions on you. Everyone there is very peaceful and chill (and possibly high) and if you’re lucky you will be too. If you find someone selling “merch” or freezies, you should definitely make friends with them and my advice to you is to support your local independent entrepreneurs (the Bailey’s freezies are to die for). But please remember to keep everything in moderation as baking in the sun all day can dehydrate you very quickly if you are only eating freezies and cookies. Trust me. That’s a story for another day 🙂

Don’t forget to be sun smart! Since you may or may not be exposing some of your most tender areas that are possibly also the most sun sensitive (since they are probably covered 80% of the time, or 25% depending on what you do for work) its a good idea to keep the spray-on sunblock close by for re-application. I recommend the spray-on sunscreen,  just in case someone needs a little help reaching an area they may not be able to, that you may not feel comfortable rubbing lotion into (onto?).  There are a few vendors who sell food down there but I personally did not check them out but I believe they are cash only, so if you plan on spending the day bring some coin, or be like me and pack a lunch. I do this not only because I am a broke-ass but also because I am a picky eater, so I don’t want to walk all the way up those stairs, put all my clothes back on and then find somewhere to grab grub. That is way too much work when you are relaxin’ on the beach!

Bathrooms…. ooooh dear god the bathrooms. If you have to do a number two, please for the love of god do it before you get there. The bathrooms are really more like outhouses and you can smell them from a mile away. All I can say is take a deep breath before you go and don’t breathe while you are in there. You could DIE from that smell. It smells like someone did anyways. I’m pretty sure most people just pee in the ocean, and I’m sure some people will be grossed out by me suggesting that, but do keep in mind, we are on a beach surrounded by a forest where animals probably do this everywhere anyways, so you’ve probably stepped in animal pee at some point since you got on the beach anyways. Or you’ve probably stepped on someone’s sand-covered barf pile – not that I have ever done such a thing. *ahem*

All in all, you should check out this beach, its a staple in the west coast chillaxed culture and a landmark in Vancouver. You don’t HAVE to get naked, but being naked there is what keeps the beach a nude beach. Did I get naked? Well, you’ll just have to find me there and see for yourself 😉

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